Alic​e M. Batzel 

Published Author, Playwright,

Journalist, Poet, Freelance Writer 


"I'M  PREGNANT"

by Alice M. Batzel

(flash fiction)


          "What did you say?" he asked in disbelief.

          "I'm pregnant," she said.

          "You can't be serious." But seeing the stern look on his wife's face, he knew better.  "Are you sure?"

          "Yes. Medical examination, medical testing, and ultrasound have been performed. Morning sickness is definitely present. It all adds up, the diagnosis is confirmed. The doctor even ran the tests twice because he couldn't believe it."

          "But…you're 66. And…I'm 70. How could this have happened?" asked the husband in disbelief.

          "I can only think of one way," she replied under her breath.

          "What are we going to do?" he asked with visible bewilderment.

          "I don't know what you're going to do, but I know what I'm going to do. I'm having a baby. I'm pregnant."

          "What will the kids say? What will the grandkids say?" he asked as he shook his head back and forth in disbelief. "Good grief! I don't want to be the one to tell the boys that their old man and their mother are having a baby when we're both… on social security. You're going to have to be the one to tell them."

          "Me? Aren't I the one having the baby? I think I already have my hands full with this. You need to be the one to tell them."

          "Not me. Not this time. There are no words. Believe me. There are no words for a situation like this," moaned the husband. "Still, we can only do one thing. It has to be done. You'll have to tell them."

          "Well, OK. I guess I'll have to tell our 47 and 49-year-old sons," said the wife in exasperation.

          "So, what are you going to say?" he asked with curiosity and concern as he ran his hand through the sparse hair on his balding scalp.

          "Just two words," she replied matter-of-factly.

          "For crying out loud, you can't just go up to the boys and blurt out, 'I'm pregnant.' It could be disastrous."

          "I wasn't going to go up to the boys and blurt out 'I'm pregnant.' Give me at least a little credit that I can handle it with tact and diplomacy."

          "You said you were going to tell them in two words. If those two words aren't 'I'm pregnant,' what two words were you going to use?”

          “I was thinking more of saying… 'April Fools!'"



(copyright 2020 - Alice M. Batzel - all rights reserved)